Five Short Pieces

Bass Solos
In a jazz piano trio the piano is far and away the lead instrument. However in most songs each player, including the bass, will get some sort of solo. But a bass is a lousy solo instrument!!! Listening in the car, a bass solo is often no more than a dull thumping sound, and even in the best acoustical situations the bass is way boring compared to the piano. It’s a case of “Look at how well that man can play that boring instrument!” A curiosity, something to be “appreciated” rather than enjoyed. So should there be no bass solos? Well that doesn’t really work either; it seems that everyone should at least get their turn. We want the bass player to have his solo even though, truth be told, it’s boring. This is a paradox.

Throw the Spaghetti in the Waiter’s Face
A teacher of mine used to say, “If you get bad service in a restaurant don’t just slink out leaving a small (or no) tip. Throw the spaghetti in the waiter’s face!”

No Two Snowflakes are Alike
How can anyone possibly know that? Why do we buy ideas like this and become so fond of them?

It Takes All Kinds
There are so many different types of people in the world, and I sometimes get sad when I realize that lots and lots of them are those with whom I’ll never have much rapport. They’re just not my type, and I’m not theirs. For example, I find it hard to imagine being great friends with someone who thinks professional wrestling is real.

Candid Camera
Times change, and change radically, but Candid Camera is still on the air. And everyone’s got their favorite bits. I remember an old one where a VW Beetle was rigged so its normally 10-gallon gas tank could hold about 50 gallons. Imagine the gas station attendant’s quandary when he proceeded to “fill it up, please.”

Where was the gas going? It must be leaking onto the ground, but it wasn’t! Something that couldn’t be happening was happening.
We appreciate Candid Camera because we love our reality being shattered. Though we’re almost inextricably committed to this reality, we know at a deep, deep level that it’s a sham.