Four Short Pieces

When I Get Enlightened
Enlightened people always say something like “You’re already enlightened.” Since they’re enlightened they must be right about this, but it’s not very helpful. I promise not to say this to you when I get enlightened.


Protecting the Good Crystal
One cold icy night in New Jersey I escorted our dinner guests out to their car, which was parked in our driveway. I brought my glass of wine with me. While standing on the slippery surface saying goodbye to them I realized this: If I were to slip and fall on my butt I would hit the ground with the wine glass still held in my upraised hand – I wouldn’t just throw it and use my hand to protect myself.

And I think this kind of behavior might even extend to more dangerous situations (e.g. I’m driving a car while holding a cup of soda, an emergency crops up, I continue to steer with one hand so as not to spill the drink). There’s some strange wiring here, and I think that other people may be wired like me. What kind of beings are we if we’ll die to avoid spilling the Coca-Cola?


Baseball Caps Worn Backward
I suppose one advantage of wearing a baseball cap backward is that it protects the back of your neck from the sun. But why else would you do it? It’s harder to put on that way, and is even uncomfortable. I suppose there’s some kind of “I-don’t-give-a-shit” communication in it, or “look-at-me-I’m-a-cool-wiseguy.” I’m not sure what’s going on. What statement are all these people making?

The World is a Mutt
Ultimate reality is symmetrical and perfect. I take this as a given. (Know it or not, so do you.) Why then does our world appear so disjointed? For example, take a look at the produce section of your local supermarket. The vegetables are a motley assortment of objects, with colors and shapes that seem totally arbitrary.